Bring These Stories Home at 8
I’m reading all your posts about the referendum. I’m feeling the anticipation. I’m hopeful and nervous. I don’t know I will feel as a woman on May 26th. I don’t know yet.
“It is the unknown that is frightening.”
But I know myself. I trust my instincts and I have a strong instinct that ‘Bring These Stories Home at 8’ could be of use, could be helpful to us all right now. The Save The 8th campaign have been doing Pray for the 8th at 8am and 8pm every day for weeks.
For the past three weeks, I have been on tour around Ireland with NOT AT HOME. I have been talking to people all over Ireland about how they are feeling about the vote. There is a lot of talking, thinking, it’s up in the head. Very few people have mentioned the women who have traveled. I haven’t spoken to one woman who has traveled face to face, but many have written their stories by hand and added them to our archive. Women who have traveled are the only ones who don’t have a voice in this referendum. They have been silenced by stigma and shame.
“Ireland did an excellent job of making me FEEL as though I was the only Irish person to have an abortion even though I factually knew that wasn’t the case. By silencing us and pretending we didn’t exist, we were completely isolated and stigmatized.”
I have carried and continue to carry this shame 14 years later. I cannot now even give my real name. I have since been able to tell my sister and I have told my now husband and we have two lovely daughters. I can only hope that someday I will have the courage and not be afraid to tell my family and friends that I had to go through this and leave the country.
Tonight on my way to a meeting at 8.15 I watched scores of people file out of a church in Wexford. They had all been there, praying together to Save the 8th. Whatever you think about religion - (I myself am a recovering Catholic) - I believe there is a power in that energy. If you want an outcome where women are heard after this referendum, I invite you to tune in. Play the stories out your window. Listen to these women, know that all over Ireland people are doing the same. Take a photo, post it in solidarity, for the woman, couple or family in your life who have traveled. # tag is #BringTheseStoriesHome- so we all know, just like those people knew in that church in Wexford, that we are together, in solidarity, listening. If you don’t feel comfortable playing it out your window, you can just listen in your home, bringing their stories, of being abandoned, of being alone, of being not at home into your own home will help. There has been a lot of talking. Now is the time to listen, and hold, with intention.
I needed Ireland to take me into her arms and hold me and wipe my tears and tell me everything would be ok. But she turned her back in shame and wouldn’t even look at me, pretended I wasn’t there. The weight of the black secret that I have carried around ever since was made heavier by her disgust of me and her other prodigal daughters.
It might feel like you don’t have time. You don’t have time to have a conversation. You don’t have time to make a decision. The 8th amendment has rushed women, couples, and families into making big decisions since 1983. It has forced them into crisis mode. We don’t need to do that anymore. Let’s act as if we live in an Ireland where everyone has time to listen to each other, where women can bear witness to their own life experience, and be trusted and heard. Let’s start now. Listen. Stay connected. Tune in. Bring These Stories Home.
In solidarity, visibility, and love
Grace
I’ll see you at 8am.
Quotes are from experiences submitted to notathomeireland.com
You are invited to write your own story, anonymously or otherwise if you have traveled.
